dharmah svanusthitah pumsamWithout hearing Hari katha, everything you do is a waste of time. Bhagavatam frankly informs us of this important message. Dharmah svanusthitah pumsam: you are doing dharma. That includes your chanting of harinama, serving your deities, so many limbs of vaidhi-bhakti, but if rati, deep attachment for hearing Hari katha (the pastimes of Mahaprabhu and Radha-Krsna), if this rati does not come, then srama eva hi kevalam. It is only srama-srama means hard labor, hard work for nothing. It is certainly (eva), definitely (hi) and exclusively (kevala) hard work for nothing (srama). So Hari katha is of paramount importance. In the beginning, if someone is not chanting so much but they have taste in Hari katha, there is no harm. As they go on hearing Hari katha, then they should gradually, gradually increase their nama bhajana. Then their chanting of harinama will be very high class because their relationship with Sri Krsna has been nourished by hearing Hari Katha from the lips of a realized Vaisnava. And those who are chanting so much now but have no taste for Hari katha, after some time maya will call them and catch them and entangle them in this world. Then they will even give up their harinama. So, Srimad Bhagavatam in the very beginning gives this warning: try to have a taste for hearing Hari katha, otherwise your chanting will not be pure.
notpadayed yadi ratim
srama eva hi kevalam
I want to say one or two words about Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, sweet nectar that I have heard at the lotus feet of my guru varga. We know that Krsna-candra, svayam Bhagavan, is the Supreme Personality of Godhead. He is the absolute truth, sarva-saktimana-all powerful-He can do anything. But more than that, He is the endless of ocean of rasa, of love and affection. And He is also causelessly merciful and kind-hearted. A few days ago we were discussing 'Krsna Deva Bhavantam Vande'-how kind Krsna is. Even if any demons come to him, He takes away all their false ego, their bad samskara and their karmas and sends them to Goloka or to Vrndavana, where He gives them the chance to serve Him-eternally, in a life of happiness and love. So He is very kind, but kinder than Krsna-candra is Srimati Radhika. Her heart is so soft and deep that even Krsna cannot discover how deep Her heart is. He tried many times, but He could not discover. Like a man in a boat-he's taking a stick and leaning over the side, trying to see how deep the water is. Gradually reaching over further and further, he loses balance and falls into the water! Similarly Krsna tried to see how deep is the love of Radharani. But He could not touch the bottom and He fell inside the endless ocean. And in that ocean, there is a whirlpool going around and around and down and down, deeper and deeper. This is called prema-vivarta-the whirlpool of prema. Krsna drowned in that, and He became Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. Now the mercy of Krsna and the mercy of Srimati Radhika has combined into one form-that is the form of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. We may try to ponder the extent of His generosity, but:
sri-krsna-caitanya-daya karaha vicara[If you are indeed interested in logic and argument, kindly apply them to the mercy of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. If you do so, you will find such mercy strikingly wonderful. (Cc. Adi 8.15)]
vicara karile citte pabe camatkara
Kaviraja Gosvami is saying, My dear friend, do you like logic? Do you like reason? Then please apply it to Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. Then your heart will be struck with wonder. Why? Srila Rupa Gosvamipada has realized the mercy of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu.
sri-caitanya-kripa-bharau bhuvi bhuvo bharavahantarakauSri Caitanya Mahaprabhu came to this world to give a very heavy burden-what is that? When He came to Kasi, He said, I have come here carrying a very heavy load. I have so much stock. What is that? My bhavas, My transcendental ecstatic moods and deep loving emotions. I have so many moods to distribute. I have come to Kasi but I have no customers. There are no buyers here, but I cannot take it back. I have brought it here now and I cannot take it back with Me. OK, I'll distibute, but for only a fraction of the price. I have to bring down the price. Then I may have some customers.
vande rupa-sanatanau raghu-yugau sri-jiva-gopalakau
(Sri Sad-Gosvamyastakam, 1)
So this is Mahaprabhu's mood. He came here with a determination. I have a big stock of bhava and I want to distribute, but no customers. OK, I'm bringing down the price. He sent Nityananda Prabhu door to door:
premera vanya loiya nitai aila gauda-deseLocana das Thakura is saying, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu sent Nityananda Prabhu from Jagannatha Puri and told Him, You go back to Gauda-desa and inundate everywhere with a flood of transcendental love. That flood was so powerful that all the deovtees drowned. And it was so powerful that even all the non-devotees were carried away-they were floating on the surface. They did not drown but were floating. If I could become a Vaisnava, I would drown forever and never see the light of day. Dina hina-low-class persons did not drown, but they were carried away-useless persons, fallen persons. But anyway, in this sankirtana movement, by the mercy of Sri Sri Gaura-Nitai, we are floating a little. We are feeling something. If I could become a Vaisnava, then I would sink down to the bottom and never see the light of day. I want this. This is Nityananda Prabhu's mercy. How did He distribute this vast reservoir of mercy? Locana dasa Thakura is explaining:
dubilo bhakata-gana dina hina bhase
abaddha koruna-sindhu katiya muhanThere was a vast reservoir of Krsna-prema, but it was contained within the walls of a dam. Nityananda Prabhu thought, What will I do? So He cut a channel in the earth and He took that channel to the front door of everyone's house. Then He went to the dam that was holding back the ocean and kicked it. It broke open. Then that flood of prema came straight down-anyone opened up their front door and it filled their house completely. Nityananda Prabhu made sure that no one could escape. This is His causeless mercy.
ghare ghare bule prema-amiyar ban
So Locana dasa Thakura is saying:
locana bole mora nita jebana bhajiloThose who don't do bhajana of my Nityananda Prabhu are knowingly killing themselves, committing suicide. How to do bhajana of Nityananda Prabhu? Very easily. Always come together with Vaisnavas, with khola (mrdanga) and kartalas, and do harinama sankirtana-loudly chanting and dancing. By this, all the sorrows and sufferings of this world, the false ego and independent mood will fade away. Then you can understand, I am atma, part and parcel of the Supreme Lord. My whole life is only for serving the lotus feet of Krsna.
janiya suniya sei atma-ghati hoilo
Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu came to this world with Nityananda Prabhu to spread the chanting of Harinama sankirtana. But Caitanya Mahaprabhu had another idea. He had something else that He wanted to give, something that had never been given before. Srila Rupa Gosvamipada, realizing this fact, said, Oh, just wait. If you think you have heard the glories of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, think again. There is more. What is that?
anarpita-carim cirat karunayavatirnah kalauSrila Rupa Gosvamipada, being the recipient of the full mercy of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, knows everything. He has said in this verse, May that Supreme Personality of Godhead, who is known as Saci-nandana, the son of Mother Saci, manifest in the innermost core of your heart. Hridaya-kandare-the heart is like a cave, very deep and secret. If you go into a deep cave, there is darkness. It may be that some elephants live there. What are they? Aparadha, offenses. So that is a very dark place where we cannot see. We close our eyes and look inside, but what is there? Dark moods, offenses. So Rupa Gosvami is not saying, May He manifest in my heart. Rupa Gosvami is very kind, praying for all of us, May the son of Mother Saci manifest in our hearts, in the hearts of all. Why?
samarpayitum unnatojjvala-rasam sva-bhakti-sriyam
harih purata-sundara-dyuti-kadamba sandipitah
sada hridaya-kandare sphuratu vah saci-nandanah
Harih purata-sundara-dyuti: He is Hari. He is like a lion. Why is He like a lion? Because a lion is very beautiful. A lion has long hair falling down over his broad shoulders. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu also has very beautiful curling hair, falling over His broad shoulders. The chest of a lion is broad and waist is very thin. So Mahaprabhu's chest is also broad and His waist is very slender. A lion is golden. Mahaprabhu is also golden. Mahaprabhu was born when? Simha-rasi-the zodiac sign of Leo, the lion. And Mahaprabhu roars like a lion. Wherever he goes, He tells everyone-only looking at them, He roars, Hari bol! Hari bol! At once, everyone is chanting Hari bol, and crying and dancing, leaving everything, going mad, and following Him everywhere-thousands and thousands of people Wherever He keeps His feet, the people are running and taking the dust. They are taking the dust from His footprints and making craters in the road. When hundreds of people take the dust from any one footprint holes appear in the road. Wherever He goes, people are running to see Him. If the road is not wide enough, they are excavating forests automatically-forests are flattened completely by all the people running to see Him. They are crossing the Ganga in boats, but there are not enough boats. All are jumping in the water and you cannot even see the Ganga. All you can see are heads. Everyone is mad-we want to see this personality. His influence is so powerful. So He is like a lion-very powerful and roaring Hari bol! So Rupa Gosvamipada is saying, May that sweet and golden Hari, Gaurahari, manifest in the inner core of your heart. May He roar like a lion there, 'Hari bol' echoing in the cave of your heart. If a lion will roar in a cave, what will it sound like? Oh, terrifying to the elephants of all our offenses. All our anarthas and aparadhas will run away at once. Our heart will be free and clean, and illuminated by His golden effulgence.
So Rupa Gosvamipada is saying, May that Lord Hari, who is like a lion, manifest in the innermost chamber of your heart. But He is calling Him 'Saci-nandana.' Why? Because He is the son of Mother Saci. This word is heavy, having so many deep meanings. If any child is raised with love and affection, then they will be able to give love and affection to others-easily. I see this in our Kesavaja Gaudiya Matha-in Srila Gurudeva and in my senior godbrothers, Sripad BV Madhava Maharaja, Sripad BV Bon Maharaja, Sripad BV Tirtha Maharaja, Sripad Premananda seva-ratna brahmacari. They gave me so much love and affection and nourishment. I am thinking that by their kindness, I have made some advancement, some little steps like a small baby in the right direction. And naturally I feel affection for the other devotees, only because of how they cared for me and nourished me.
So how was Nimai loved in His childhood, growing up in Navadvipa? There Saci Maiya loved him so much. He was going to school and learning Srimad Bhagavatam. His older brother Visvarupa left home and took sannyasa. Saci Maiya's older son was gone now and Nimai was the only child. So how her affection increased more and more. She was very worried and discussing with Jagannatha Misra, If Nimai will become a very good student and read Srimad Bhagavatam, He will understand that there is not one shread of truth and reality in this whole material world. If He understands this, then He will also leave like Visvarupa, so we should not let Him go to school. Why should He go to school? Let Him be at home and play. He'll be very happy. So they took Him out of school. So much attachment. This love is so deep that even at the time of meeting the fear of separation comes. When you are with the person you love and yet still the heart trembles with anxiety, Oh, inevitable separation is approaching. This is a symptom of deep love.
Nimai Pandita was playing and someone told Saci Maiya, Oh, your boy is in the yard, on top of all the pots. The pots were used for cooking and are never used twice in the house of a brahmana-they are considered contaminated. He's there, sitting on top of all the pots.
Saci Maiya comes and says, You are the son of a brahmana. Why are you staying in this place? Nimai answers, O Mother, I am the son of a brahmana, but I have no education. I don't go to school. I don't know what is clean and what is unclean. What can I do? So she thinks, Oh, again He should go back to school.
Then Jagannatha Misra disappeared from this world. Saci Mata had lost both her husband and her son. Now Saci Ma is a widow. She has only one person in this world-her child Nimai. Everyday Nimai is doing harinama sankirtana with Nityananda Prabhu and His friends. Saci Maiya and Malini devi, the wife of Srivasa Pandita, are coming out from their houses and seeing the big harinama sankirtana party. Nimai Pandita and Nityananda Prabhu are coming back with all Their associates, Gadadhara Pandita, Srivasa Thakura, Advaita Acarya, Murari Gupta, Sanjaya Mukunda, Vasu Ghosh and many more. They are dancing and doing kirtana. All devotees are jumping and dust is flying in the air. All are covered with perspiration. Mahaprabhu has been decorated with sandalwood paste. All the villagers are coming out from their homes and decorating Him with sandalwood paste. He's perspiring and this paste is running on His face. The garland makers are coming and giving Him so many garlands as he is dancing through the street. The cowherd men are coming and offering Him some milk. Kolaveca Sridhara is coming and giving him loki, squash. Now Nityananda Prabhu and Nimai are returning from Their sankirtana. Malini devi is who? Rohini Maiya. And Saci Mata is Yasoda Maiya. It is just as if Krsna and Balarama are coming back from cow-grazing with Their sakhas, covered with dust and perspiration. Their faces look so sweet, like lotus faces, but now sweeter than before because They are tired. When tiredness comes, then the face is very cute. They are coming out and Malini devi and Saci Ma with open arms reach out. Nimai and Nityananda Prabhu are coming in the laps of Their mothers, who embrace Them, bathing them in their tears of love. Automatically milk is flowing from their breasts, and with their own hands their mothers are cleaning off the dust from Their bodies.
All residents of Navadivpa are sinking in an ocean of love and affection. Navadvipa is like this. So how Mother Saci has affection for Her Nimai! Nevertheless, after some time He accepted sannyasa. He wanted to be one-pointed completely, like the gopis who left everything for Krsna. So He left home. In the absence of her life and soul, Saci Mata misses her darling Nimai more than words can express. Sometimes she is seen running about the yard, stopping and glancing here and there. Suddenly she calls out, Stop that butter thief! Catch Him! Sometimes she approaches her friends and asks Oh mother of Subal, mother of Sridama. Have your sons returned from grazing the cows yet? My son has not come home and it is so late. Thus absorbed in the sentiments of Yasoda Maiya, she would faint in anxiety for her son and fall to the ground.
Leaving behind Saci Maiya, in the devastation of separation, Nimai accepted sannyasa and tried to go to Vrindavana. However, Nityananda Prabhu tricked Him and brought Him back to the house of Advaita Acarya in Santipura. All devotees came running there to meet with Him. And Candra Sekhara arranged one palanquin to bring Saci Mata, the guest of honor, the mother of Nimai Pandita. He arranged a palanquin and servants to carry her to Advaita Acarya's house in Santipura. There she's getting down from the palanquin. Now her son is no longer Nimai Pandita but Sri Krsna Caitanya. Now He has accepted sannyasa, the renounced order. His beautiful curling hair is gone, His beautiful garlands and sandalwood paste and bangles and earrings, everything, are gone. Now He's shaved. His very beautiful golden body, soft like butter, is dressed in aruna vastra, cloth the color of the rising sun, and marked with gopi-candana tilakas in twelve places. Now Saci Maiya is seeing her son for the first time as a sannyasi. As soon as He sees Saci Maiya, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu runs to His mother and offers her dandavat pranama. But she cannot tolerate this-Oh, get up and come in my lap. Now He is a sannyasi, but anyway, she doesn't care. She picks Him up and takes His big golden body in her lap and kisses Him all over His body like a baby. All the Navadvipa-vasis are beholding this heart-rending scene. Holding His face, she is trying to look at His face, but seeing Him for the first time with shaved head, she's looking again and again but cannot see. Why? Because her eyes are brimming with tears. She says, O bachare Nimai! O my darling Nimai (not Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu!) Don't be cruel like Visvarupa. Visvarupa was so cruel. After he took sannyasa, he never let me see him again. If you go away and never let me see you again, it will be the death of me. My life will be finished.
Now Mahaprabhu is crying, O Mother, listen. This body has come from you. This body was nourished by you. This body was raised by you. This body belongs to you-completely. I have no independence. In millions and millions of lifetimes, I can never repay my debt to you. So as you order me, I must do. I must follow your instructions.
To resolve the problem, Saci Maiya is meeting with the Vaisnavas and giving her conclusion. She says, He cannot return here to His home because a sannyasi never goes to his home. He should go somewhere else. I don't want Him to stay here with me because everyone will criticize Him. I cannot tolerate that. But Vrindavan is very far away, so He should be in Jagannatha Puri. Navadvipa and Puri are like two rooms in the same house. Devotees are always coming back and forth. I can regularly receive news of Him there. Otherwise, sometimes He may come to take bath in Ganga and I may see Him.
Saci Maiya has so much love for her son. She saw that now because He is a sannyasi, all the brahmanas are inviting Him, Please come to my house and take prasad. But Saci Maiya is thinking, A sannyasi can never return to his own house. That means He will never come to my home and I will never cook for Him again. What can I do? So then she requests Advaita Acarya, As long as He will stay in your house, please let me cook. Oh, of course. Anything you say. She wants to cook and feed Him, being overwhelmed with concern for His welfare.
Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu is absorbed in harinama sankirtana and now His mood is very high. He's dancing, crying, trembling, sometimes fainting and falling on the ground in the dust, hitting the ground with a crash. Saci Ma cannot tolerate to see this and she prays to Narayana: O my Lord Narayana, if during my life, since my childhood, if I have ever served You, if I have ever offered anything to You, if I have ever pleased You in any way, then by the power of whatever credit I have accumulated, please arrange that my son should not feel any pain when His soft body falls and hits the ground. I'm giving Him the result of all of the service I have rendered to you since I was a small girl, so that He should not feel any pain. The motherly affection of Saci Maiya is like this.
When Mahaprabhu is away in Puri, she is cooking, making nice preparations, all of Nimai's favorite things-saka, luka-loki. She is cooking and offering to her diety. When she offers to her deity, she remembers how Nimai used to come to honour Maha Prasada and how He used to love all these palatable preparations. In the depths of her unmitigated loneliness she sees how He sits down and eats. O Maiya, Maiya, bring more. Bring more. I am very hungry. She thinks, I would feed Him and again and again He would smile and say, 'O Mother, bring Me more. Bring Me more.' Remembering this and feeling separation, she is weeping bitterly and seeing that He has come and eaten everything. Then the next moment He disappears. Again she's looking and seeing that the offering tray is empty. What happened? Perhaps a dog has come and eaten it. Perhaps I never made the offering. Am I going mad? What's happening? All right, I'll make the offering again. And again she makes the offering. In this way, by her separation mood and the strength of her love, Nimai Pandita is coming every day and eating in the house of Saci Maiya. Anyone who will have love for Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, and offering and feeling separation, then Mahaprabhu must come and give His darsana to that devotee because He is so kind and merciful. So Saci Maiya's love is like this. And Sacinandana has been raised by His mother, so like mother, like son. Because He has been raised with so much affection by Saci Ma, therefore He has so much affection for all the living souls, vatsalya mood, like a devoted mother.
Raghunatha dasa Gosvami always remembers how Mahaprabhu gave him so much instruction and cared for him. He placed him in the hands of Svarupa Damodara, and Raghunatha dasa Gosvami always feels separation from Saci-nandana, because He has very strong motherly affection. He demonstrated this to the whole world when one day in Candra Sekhara Bhavan, all the devotees put on a drama. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu came on stage, but no one could recognize who He was. In His female form, by the power of Yogamaya, He revealed His female forms-all saktis, Rukmini, Durga, Laksmi devi, so many, one after another. And when He manifested the form of Laksmi devi, the goddess of fortune, Mahaprabhu called all the devotees and they came one by one. In this form He began to give breastmilk to His devotees. What does this mean? Just like a mother nourishes her child with her own blood, similarly Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu nourishes all devotees like a mother with the milk of Krsna-prema. Therefore, Rupa Gosvamipada says: sada hrdaya-kandare sphuratu vah saci-nandanah. May that Sacinandana, who nourishes all the devotees with so much love and motherly affection, with the milk from the core of His heart, manifest in your heart. May He drive away all your anarthas, and bestow krsna-prema. What krsna-prema?
anarpita-carim cirat karunayavatirnah kalauSri Caitanya Mahaprabhu is Krsna Himself. But now He is completely covered with the golden complexion of Srimati Radhika. Why? He has the mood of Srimati Radhika. And in Radharani's mood, there are many bhava alankaras. One of them is called kanti-Her complexion. Kanti especially means at that time when Srimati Radhika meets with Krsna and pleases Him completely, Their aprakrta kama is satisfied in Their meeting. Then the luster which comes from Her body at that time is called kanti. So now Krsna is resplendent with the anga-kanti of Srimati Radhika. And what is He doing? He is tasting Her moods. We can see in Sri Caitanya Caritamrta, when Krsnadasa Kaviraja was writing this, he thought, I'm so very old now, and I think I may not live to complete the pastimes of Caitanya Mahaprabhu. So right in the beginning of Madhya-lila in Chapter 2, I'll have to tell something about Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu's lilas in Gambhira. These are in Antya-lila, but I'll have to tell something here just in case I do not live to tell this tale. It must be spoken. The world must know about these things. Why?
samarpayitum unnatojjvala-rasam sva-bhakti-sriyam
apani karimu bhakta-bhava angikareKrsna was thinking, I will take the mood of a devotee and I will come in this world and teach all the devotees how to practice bhakti, by My own example. I Myself will practice this. How was Mahaprabhu practicing? He was staying in the Gambhira with His friends, two intimate associates-Svarupa Damodara and Raya Ramananda. They are very rasika and qualified, being incarnations of Lalita sakhi and Visakha sakhi, respectively. And now they are helping Krsna Himself to taste all the moods of Srimati Radhika. In the daytime, Caitanya Mahaprabhu would go to have darsana of Jagannatha-deva. But in the evening, as it became darker and darker, His separation mood would increase more and more. It would become uncontrollable. So they would keep Him alone in the Gambhira. Only Svarupa Damodara and Raya Ramananda are there, helping Him taste this.
apani acari' bhakti sikhaimu sabare
(CC Adi 3.20)
Raya Ramananda has written a drama, Jagannatha Vallabha Natakam. Krsnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami has written some explanation how Raya Ramananda would write the verses of Jagannatha Vallabha Natakam and give them to Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, who would relish them. In Madhya-lila chapter 2, Mahaprabhu is reciting these verses:
yada yato daivan madhu-ripur asau locana-pathamSri Caitanya Mahaprabhu is reciting this verse and is absorbed in mood of Srimati Radhika: I am very young, in the age of vayah sandhi, adolescence. A teen-age village girl living in Javat gaon. Very soft and sweet. Heart is always melting, and staying with My sakhis, My friends. But a problem has come. I don't know why but I am attracted to the son of Nanda Maharaja. This boy is charming and beautiful and He has stolen My heart. Wherever I look, I see Him. Radhika is telling her friends, Oh, now I don't know what will become of Me. Wherever I go, I see that boy. He's standing and blocking my way. I try to escape from Him, but He spreads His arms. I try to scream and He covers my mouth. So I fall on the ground at His feet, and then He bites My face. He's a very restless boy. Radhika has become so obsessed that She is seeing Krsna everywhere. She cannot get away from Him. His picture is in Her heart at all times. What can I do? So She wrote Him a love letter. When Krsna read it, He was overjoyed. But He hid His feelings. This is not good. I am brahmacari and she is kula-vati, chaste lady in a very good dynasty. By following this course of action, one cannot be happy in this world or the next. He rejected her advances. When She found out about Sri Krsna's reaction, Radhika was devastated. What should I do? Now she cannot live-She's crying and crying, very upset, She's sitting and tears are gliding down Her face. Her sakhis are trying to console her.
tadasmakam ceto madana-hatakenahrtam abhut
punar yasminn esa ksanam api drsor eti padavim
vidhasyamas tasminn akhila-ghatika ratna-khacitah
(CC Madhya 2.36)
At that time Raya Ramananda is writing this mood. Now Mahaprabhu is like a sannyasi, with shaved head and saffron cloth. He is sitting in the Gambhira with Raya Ramananda and Svarupa Damodara, totally absorbed: I am Radhika. Krsna has neglected me and rejected me. Now I am ashamed. My life is finished. My heart is broken. Mahaprabhu is sitting and thinking that He is Radhika. He's where? Not in Gambhira, He's in Vrindavana, completely absorbed in the spiritual body and sentiments of Radharani. Her body is made of bhava. He's absorbed in that bhava, thinking that He is with the sakhis. At that time, one very antaranga sakhi, very intimate associate of Radharani, Madanika, is trying to pacify her friend, trying to make her feel better. O Radhika, why are You becoming morose? Why are You becoming upset? Don't be upset. You know, in the jungle there is one flower called ketaki flower. It has a sweet fragrance, so from very far away, one bumblebee came, being attracted to the frangrance of the ketaki flower. He landed on that flower to take the honey. But what is the nature of ketaki flower? It has no honey inside. So when the bumblebee got there and went to take honey, he found no honey. So he said, 'I'm going.' The bumblebee went away. So, Radhika, don't be upset. Krsna's face is like a very sweet and attractive flower and He attracted You. So You came, but when You arrived there, You discovered that there is no honey inside, no love inside. So You should give him up. This is proper.
Mahaprabhu, in His trance, is seeing and feeling all these things--hearing Madanika's advice to her friend Radharani. At that time Krsna was Krsna. He could not understand what His action has done, what pain He has caused in the heart of Radhika. But now, coming in the form of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, He is directly realizing the results of His behavior. He is absorbed in the mood of Radhika, who is looking at Her friend Madanika, and saying, O sakhi, yes, your words are correct. Radharani is drying Her tears and gathering all her patience and composure, Yes, on your advice, now I have given up Krsna completely. But then Radharani begins to tremble. Fear comes. What can I do? On your advice I have given up Krsna, but I cannot give up remembering His form, qualities and His pastimes. The more I try to push them out from My mind, the more they appear-clearly, more and more clearly, on the lotus of My heart. What can I do now? The more Radharani tries to push Him away, the more He is coming. Now Radharani is losing sense of the external world and speaking like a mad person. O Madanika, how can I forget Him? He is smiling at Me and His lips, which are like very ripe bimba fruits, are smiling at Me. He is holding the flute to His lips. Just then, the desire to completely serve Krsna by all the limbs of Her body overtook Her like a very impetuous force and stole Her consciousness. There and then, Srimati Radhika fainted and fell unconscious in the arms of Her sakhi. Next moment, coming back to consciousness, She's telling Madanika, This is a problem for Me.
ye kale va svapane, dekhinu vamsi-vadane,Have you read Caitanya Caritamrta? It's very beautiful, presenting the mood of Radhika, who is very pathetic and hopeless. What can she do? She's saying, O sakhi, I'm unlucky. Why? Because any time I saw Krsna. . . How is Radharani's anuraga, deep attachment for Krsna? This mood is called purva raga-what Radharani is going through before She could meet with Krsna and make friends with Him. Any time I see that boy, or even if I see Him in a dream, as soon as I see Him, then I am attacked by two enemies. One enemy is ananda-I become so overwhelmed with joy. And the other is madana. Every sense of My body wants to meet with all of His senses and please Him completely. When this happens, they steal away my heart; I faint and become unconscious. How excited She is to meet with Krsna! If She will see Him, then Her two enemies come and steal Her heart and She becomes unconscious, and cannot drink His beauty to Her eyes' full satisfaction. So then She is saying, O sakhi, if ever the chance will come again that I can see the son of Nanda Maharaja, how He is smiling and playing upon His flute, I will be very careful. I will not let any bliss come in My heart. I will check madana, so that I can see Him to My eyes' full contentment. And if I have a chance to see Him, that moment, those seconds that I see Him, I will be so grateful to them that I will offer arati to them. I will string a garland for those seconds and offer each second a garland and decorate those seconds with sandalwood paste. Oh, when will I see Him again? So this is Radharani's purva raga-so sweet and ecstatic. Caitanya Mahaprabhu is completely absorbed in the mood of Radhika and realizing these things for Himself. Before He did not understand. Now He's chanting Krsna-nama and absorbed in remembering Radha's deep anuraga, Her beautiful love and affection for Sri Krsna.
sei kale aila dui vairi
'ananda' ara 'madana', hari' nila mora mana,
dekhite na painu netra bhari'
(CC Madhya 2.37)
Don't be in San Francisco. Be in the Gambhira with Svarupa Damodara and Raya Ramananda. Sneak in very quietly, sit down in the back and no one will see you. Listen, what is going on? How Mahaprabhu is crying and embracing Svarupa Damodara and Raya Ramananda! They are acting just like the gopis of Vrindavana, embracing each other-how? Srimad Bhagavatam describes this:
tad vraja-striya asrutya
kascit paroksam krsnasya
(When the vraja-kisoris heard the sound of Sri Syamasundara's flute, feelings of love and an intense desire to meet with Him were aroused in their hearts. In a secluded place the gopis described to their intimate companions Sri Krsna's beauty and qualities and the powerful influence of His flute.)
tad varnayitum arabdhah
(O King Pariksit! The vraja-ramanis certainly wanted to discuss among themselves the sweetness of the sound of Sri Krsna's flute, but as soon as they remembered the venu, immediately the vision of His charming pastimes, His compelling glance filled with love, His beckoning eyebrows, His sweet smiles, and His other attractive features manifested in their hearts. Vrajendra-nandana Syamasundara, who charms even Cupid, churned their minds with His qualities, and their hearts were aroused with an intense desire to meet with Him. They completely lost control of their minds-at once their minds went to join their beloved Sri Krsna. How could the cowherd maidens speak now? Thus they were unable to describe Him.)
iti venu-ravan rajan
srutva vraja-striyah sarva
(O King Pariksit! The sound of Sri Krsna's flute steals the minds of all living beings, both moving and non-moving. When the young gopis of Vraja heard that sound, they began to express their feelings. By describing the venunada, they entered a state of emotional turmoil due to their smara, or prema, and became completely absorbed in thoughts of Him. To alleviate the force of their love, within their hearts they began to embrace Sri Krsna, who is the ocean of the nectar of bliss and the topmost rasika enjoyer.)Being impelled by intense feelings of separation from Krsna, now the gopis can hear the sound of Krsna's flute, and they become overjoyed. They begin to describe His beauty and embrace each other. Why? They are seeing by sphurti, Oh, Krsna has come and thinking, Now I am embracing Krsna. But they are embracing each other. This is the degree of their transcendental and supernatural love. You cannot imagine. But if we will hear how Mahaprabhu was doing bhajana in the Gambhira, not in the Gambhira but in Vrindavana, where Yamuna is flowing, many flowers and flowering vines are growing and filling the air with their beautiful scent, and the bees are humming. . .
Mahaprabhu, completely absorbed in this mood, was actually there, in the company of Radharani's sakhis. Outwardly we see the Gambhira, but Mahaprabhu was not seeing any stone walls, He was seeing Vrindavana. What is the meaning? Krsna is so kind that He wanted to give us this love of Vrindavana. But it is very difficult to understand, so He said, I'll show you how to do it. Be like me. Be a devotee-wear tilaka and kanthi mala, keep a sikha, and chant harinama in the association of like-minded sadhus. Always be absorbed in hearing, chanting and remembering-forget this world completely. I'm showing you. I am taking your hand and saying, 'Do like Me.' Oh, I am Srimati Radhika now. I am remembering Her moods. As I am doing, you should also do. Therefore, Sacinandana Gaurahari is very kind, like a mother showing her child how to write the alphabet. Mahaprabhu is saying, This is easy. Follow Me. Be like Me, always chanting and absorbed in Hari katha, remembering the pastimes of Radha and Krsna.
Many, many incarnations came. They told you all kinds of hard paths of religion, but I am saying, Come with me, you are mine. I want to help you. And what mood is Mahaprabhu relishing? Samarpayitum unnatojjvala-rasam sva-bhakti-sriyam. This parakiya mood-the unwedded love that Radharani has for Krsna-is the most radiant and splendid, transcendental mellow-unnatojjvala rasa. By tasting this, He has also distributed sva-bhakti-sriyam, the beauty of Radha's mood. What is Her mood? She has so much love for Krsna. Mahaprabhu in the Gambhira is crying:
aslisya va pada-ratam pinastu mam
adarsanan marma-hatam karotu va
yatha tatha va vidadhatu lampato
mat-prana-nathas tu sa eva naparah
O Krsna, what can I do? When there is love, then even the defects and faults in one's beloved are transformed and become attributes. So even though Krsna has so many faults-sometimes He tells lies, sometimes He's restless and goes to meet with other gopis-but I love Him anyway.
aslisya va pada-ratam pinastu mam
adarsanan marma-hatam karotu va
Sometimes Krsna embraces me so tightly to His chest and crushes Me-pinastu means to crushing. Sometimes Krsna crushes Me tightly to His strong chest, so tightly that I feel like We have become one person. Otherwise, if He is very cruel and will not let Me see Him and He will break My heart, I don't care.
yatha tatha va vidadhatu lampatoRadhika's love is flowing to Him. Krsna will do so many things to block and make an obstacle to that love, but that love never sees any obstacle. This pure love always flows without any impediment. She is saying, He's lampata, He's a debauchee, I know. Lampata means one who will enjoy with another girl right in front of his beloved. No matter what He does, He is the lord of my heart.
mat-prana-nathas tu sa eva naparah
na gani apana-duhkha, sabe vanchi tanra sukha,Radharani is saying, My happiness is His happiness only. If He will get happiness by giving me problems and pain, then this pain is My happiness.
tanra sukha--amara tatparya
more yadi diya duhkha, tanra haila maha-sukha,
sei duhkha--mora sukha-varya
(CC Antya 20.52)
ye narire vanche krsna, tara rupe satrsna,Radharani is thinking, If Krsna wants to meet with any gopi, but she refuses to meet with Him and Krsna is upset because He is very very thirsty to taste her sweetness, then what will I do? Oh, I cannot bear to see Him in this predicament. I have to do something. I will personally go to her house and try to persuade her. She will say, 'No, no,' but I will cut all her arguments. She must meet with Krsna. If she will not accept, I will fall down at her feet and beg her to please come. 'Krsna wants to meet with you so much.' 'But I am very busy. I have so many household chores to do.' 'Don't worry. I will take a broom and do all your housework. You go and meet with Krsna.' I will do all the housework of that sakhi and I will take her by the hand and bring her to Krsna and push her into the kunja. Then, when they meet together, my heart is overjoyed if Krsna is happy. This love is pure; it has no selfishness.
tare na pana haya duhkhi
mui tara paya padi', lana yana hate dhari',
krida karana tanre karon sukhi
(CC Antya 20.53)
This is Radhika's ecstatic mood: I want to become dasi of that person who can please Krsna the most. I will become her maidservant. This is Radharani's beautiful mood. This mood of Radhika has taken so many forms-Rupa Manjari, Rati Manjari, Labanga Manjari, Kasturi Manjari. Each one of Radhika's moods became so many different gopis. And the dasis of Radhika have only one mood-that Radhika Herself should meet with Krsna because only She can please Krsna more than anyone else. So this is called unnatojjvala rasam sva-bhakti-sriyam-the beauty of Radharani's mood, that is, manjari-bhava. The dasis never want anything for themselves. They give all honor to Radhika, that She should meet with Krsna. Amanina manadena-nothing for me, everything for You. Mahaprabhu came to give this mood. They have nistha in Radharani. The happiness of Radharani is their happiness. Her tears and distress are their distress. If Radhika is happy, they are overjoyed. If Krsna is happy, they are overjoyed. If Krsna is upset and Radharani is happy, then no harm, no problem. Let Krsna be upset. But Radharani should be happy because Krsna's happiness really lies in Radhika. We know Him better than He knows Himself. Radharani knows Krsna better than He knows Himself. Radharani is seeing the sweetness of Krsna. Krsna does not know how sweet He is. That's why He had to come as Caitanya Mahaprabhu, to discover-What does She see in Me? And what Radharani is seeing in Krsna is reflected in the hearts of Her palya dasis. So they know. Let Him cry now. It is for His own good. Afterwards, He will appreciate and understand. So this is called unnatojjvala rasam sva-bhakti-sriyam.
Bhaktivinoda Thakura has described:
radhika carana tyajiya amara, ksaneke pralaya hoyaWhat mood is this? Unnatojjvala rasam sva-bhakti-sriyam-that which Caitanya Mahaprabhu came to give that was never ever given before. Complete nistha in the lotus feet of Radhika! She is my life and soul. She has raised me and nurtured me since my small childhood with so much affection and taught me all things-how to sing, how to dance, how to decorate, how to make garlands how to make dramas, puzzles and riddles, and compose so many poems. Radhika with so much affection has taught me so many things. By these arts I can serve Her and Her beloved when They meet together. I cannot tolerate the pain of Radharani's separation when They don't meet. Yugala milana, sukhera karana, jivana chadite pari. For the sake of Their meeting, I can give up my life. I can never give up the lotus feet of Radharani, even for one moment. If I would give up Her service for one second, then that would be like pralaya, universal devastation, just as if the universe has been destroyed. I will feel like that if I had to give up the service of Radharani for one second. This mood is so sweet, containing so much deep dedication and attachment to Radharani. This is unnatojjvala rasam sva-bhakti-sriyam. Radhika tare, sata-bara mari, se duhkha amara soya: For the sake of Radharani, happily without any hesitation I can throw away my life millions of times.
radhika tare, sata-bara mari, se duhkha amara soya
In this world was such a mood ever expressed before? Never. Therefore Rupa Gosvamipada is saying, anarpita-carim cirat karunayavatirnah kalau: in this age of Kali, Sacinandana has appeared in this world to give what was never given any time before in this day of Lord Brahma-this one-pointed, unconditional and transcendental dedication to the lotus feet of Radharani. I can give up my life thousands of times, really, with a smile on my face, for Her happiness. This is palya dasi bhava. Srila Rupa Gosvamipada, realizing all these things, has given this in the mangalacarana of his Vidagdha Madhava Nataka. And Srila Kaviraja Gosvamipada, being very humble, was also feeling that Whatever I can feel has already been expressed beautifully by Sri Rupa Gosvamipada. So he took that very same verse and he used it in the mangalacaranam in the very beginning of Sri Caitanya Caritamrta to attract all and awaken greed in the heart.
Try to be Gaudiya, the followers of Caitanya Mahprabhu. He is so kind and merciful and He wants to give you something. The prema that Mahaprabhu is distributing had never been given before. What to speak of being given, prema namadbhutartha sravana patha kasya nama nama mahimnah: Even the name of this love had never entered into the ears of anyone before-it so confidential. So we are very fortunate to come in the Brahma-Madhva-Gaudiya-Vaisnava Sampradaya.We should never forget these things at any time.
One time I was on Cebu Island in the Philipinnes with my beloved Gurudeva, a very lonely place. He had been reading Sri Caitanya Caritamrta every day and chanting alone absorbed in ecstatic love. One morning on the beach he said to me, You know how the devotees were living in Puri? Raghunatha das Gosvami was meeting with Svarupa Damodara, who would spend the night in the Gambhira with Caitanya Mahaprabhu. Raghunatha dasa was staying at Satasana Matha and he's waiting, waiting, waiting, like a calf, waiting for a cow to return. And when the cow is coming, the calf is pulling on the rope with so much eagerness. As Svarupa Damodara is returning from the Gambhira, Raghunatha dasa's heart is pulling, pulling, and he's running to his prabhu, Svarupa Damodara. Tell me. What happened last night? And Svarupa Damodara is telling as we have been hearing this evening. What was He reading? What did He say? Today He read one verse from Jagannatha Vallabha Natakam. Radharani is crying, and Madanika sakhi is giving Her consolation. Many moods came. He was fainting and saying, 'I am worshiping every second with sandalwood paste and garlands.' Raghunatha dasa is hearing, Oh, such nectar! Gurudeva said, If you will pass your time like Raghunatha dasa and the associates of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu in Jagannatha Puri, where is maya? Where is anartha nivritti? Very, very far away. Maya will never touch you. So always be like this. Enter in the family of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. We should be adopted by Him and follow His bhajana pranali and pass our days and nights like this. Live like this and die like this. Then you will never die. Keeping your feet on the head of death, where will you go? Then life is successful, so follow the teachings of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu.
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